Comfort made easy

If I am sick or tired… or sick and tired… tired or just plain sick… I need comforting. Being a mama’s boy my first instinct is to run home, but seeing as my mommy is in Colorado and I’m in California I need to have a substitute.

Enter psychology… specifically: behaviorism.

Just like Pavlov’s dog, we have been trained to react. We can’t help it. From conception to death our conditioning never stops. We’ll flinch, cry and yawn on cue (don’t bother stifling the yawn, it’s not like I can see you). Yanking someone’s strings can be easy if you know their triggers. One very useful trick is to learn to yank your own strings (trust me, you won’t go blind).

If you’re feeling down and want a quick pick me up, try this out: think back to when you were a little kid… say 4 or 5 years old. Getting the vision? Good, not stop touching me or I’m telling Mom. Perfect, you got it. Now, on Saturday, what did you eat? If you have a bad memory try calling your mom, she may be able to help out. The key is to nail down exactly what you used to eat, getting the ingredients as close as possible to the authentic stuff. Go shopping, come home, put on some comfy clothes and eat. If you can find some reruns to go with your snack you’ll be golden. Trust me, it works great. If you put me in front of an episode of the Waltons, feed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (made with Wonder bread, Welch’s Concord grape jelly and creamy Jiff) cut in to quarters… diagonally, Fritos, a bowl of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and a glass of milk I’ll be right as rain.

Now if I could just find myself a good pair of footy pajamas…