Not satisfied with taking the fun out of most everything else, lawyers have now turned their attention on that most sacred of childhood pastimes: a good game of tag. Schools, for fear of being sued by parents, have now started to ban any game in which a child might possibly get hurt.
Lawyers, be forewarned: when I become all-powerful (it’ll happen any day now, I’m sure) I’m going to stick you in a very small room with the guy who invented those wretched plastic clamshell security packages and Corey Feldman. In that room you will be locked for all time, fed only Oreo cookies (without milk, of course) and forced to listen to a never-ending stream of Celine Dion ballads.