Category: TV

Tonight I watched three hours of television, and two hours of it were in reverse.  It seems more and more TV writers are using the flashback episode as crutch.

By flashback episode I mean those episodes where at the start of the show you come in at the end of the action.  So, after ten minutes of "look, here’s how the show ends!" you have to sit through 30 minutes of review explaining how you ended up where you started.

Here’s my request to TV writers out there: either learn how to develop tension through foreshadowing and character development or go back to film school.

Now this is just pretty damn cool, Windows Media Center, NBC and TVTonic have collaborated to provide Summer Olympic coverage delivered direct to your Media Center (and through that to your Xbox too). 

Paula asked the important question: “Why should I care? I’ll just TiVo it.”

True, you can get the Olympics via TV broadcast (and time-shifted via your PVR of choice) or on demand from NBC’s site.  The thing I think is a killer feature is that you can specify the events you want to watch instead of having to fast forward through an hour of equestrian events just to watch track and field (or vice versa).  Heck, you don’t even need a TV tuner card to get the programming (most of it in ED and lots in HD).

Sure, there are limits: you have to be in the US and you have to have Vista Media Center (32 bit only).

Get the full run down from TVTonic’s site.

SciFi Channel: you owe me an hour.

Here’s the elevator pitch: take the cheerleader from Heroes, stick her in a shadowy government agency like Sydney from Alias and have them hunt super bad guys like Buffy from… well… Buffy.

I really wanted to like Painkiller Jane… a hero who heals rapidly, bad guys with mind control powers and a group of bad-ass G-men protecting the world.  Combine that with some cool music and stylish cinematography and you can’t loose.

You know there’s a “but” coming don’t you?  Here’s the thing: they hired creative writing students from the local community college to write the scripts.  I guess they needed to make sure there was money left over to hire someone to write little mini games for their web site.

Look on the bright side, remember how you were trying to figure out if you should record the new SciFi channel show starring the sexy female terminator from T3 or a rerun of Myth Busters?  Problem solved. 

I love this show! 

Are you watching it yet?

No?  Go, right now, set your TiVo.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait right here.

What are you waiting for?  Shoo!

Paula already knew it.  Trina already knew it.  Aw heck, it seems most everyone else already knows… Buffy The Vampire Slayer is hilarious.

When I was back in Seattle last month I picked up seasons two through seven for Paula… and ended up watching most of the episodes with her.  I’d never really seen more than a few episodes here and there, Paula, however, had watched most of them and was hooked.

If you haven’t seen them you should.  Go sign up for NetFlix (no, I don’t get a kickback for pushing them) and load up your queue.  If you’re feeling like it you might as well throw in the movie that started it all.

Why, you ask? Because it has great lines like this:

“Martha Stewart isn’t a demon. She’s a witch. […] Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.”

Paula and I always love a good caper movie, so when we saw the ads for Heist on TV we thought, hey, looks like a fun diversion.  We were only able to sit through fifteen minutes of this derivative drivel.

NBC sez Heist is “a series driven by unforgettable characters”… absolutely, they’re unforgettable because you’ve seen them in a thousand other movies and TV shows. 

The criminal star characters of this garbage were lifted directly from the Italian Job, Ocean’s Eleven, Mission Impossible, you name it.  There’s Mickey, the handsome, clever criminal mastermind.  James, Mickey’s trusted partner in crime and intellectual fencing partner.  “Pops”, the wise, criminal father-figure (with requisite fedora and members-only jacket).  Ricky, the cute, Bronx-accented, wet-behind-the-ears thief.  And, of course, Lola, the beautiful but extra-tough she-thug who will punch you in the mouth as soon as you call her “babe”.

The law-enforcement characters are no better.  There’s Amy, the beautiful cop with a huge chip on her shoulder… trying hard to make a name for herself in a man’s world.  There’s Billy, the overweight, narrow-minded cop who speaks his mind without restraint… waffling between offensive and endearingly honest.  The only cop who hasn’t become jaded and cynical is Tyrese, the young idealistic black detective.

Let’s see, in the first fifteen minutes, Mickey and James show how clever they are by casually robbing a jewelry store, quizzing each other on ancient history to help pass the time.  Amy, the cop making a name for herself, busts a ring of thieves who rob moving trains (the noisy train robbers driving 4x4s were without hubris or subtlety, it was obvious they’d be arrested).  Amy then (without so much as a good night’s sleep) goes to investigate Mikey and James’s break-in.  Mikey is, of course, on the roof across the street, taking pictures of Amy investigating the robbery.

Scene: looking at Amy through the lens of a powerful camera.  The shutter releases several times, three back and white images of Amy in rapid succession.

Zoom in from street level to Mikey on the roof across the street with a camera.

Mikey: “Keep your enemies close…”

Fade out.  End scene.

Holy crap!  The thing that shocks me is this: somebody in LA pushed back from their keyboard and thought to themselves… “Man, this is great stuff.”