When I was a kid… aw heck, I’m still a kid.
Let me start again, when I was 9 my G.I. Joes used to “hang out” with my sister’s Barbie dolls (hey, I was 9, give me a break). I can’t imagine, however, a Jesus Action Figure doing the same thing.
Perhaps I just need to wait for the Mary Magdalene doll.
In the 70’s I used to listen to my dad’s Bill Cosby albums, in the 80’s I used to watch the Cosby show and in the 90’s I cringed when Bill Cosby would go on one of his inevitable moral tirades against [insert vice here]. Now, the Internet has provided me with a cathartic poke at America’s favorite overbearing parent… House of Cosbys.
If you want to enjoy some well produced, animated hilarity, hop on over to channel 101 and check out the first four episodes. You may want to hurry, however… the Cosby lawyers already have gotten wind of the show and the animators have been served with a cease and desist (and none-too-soon, the show is obviously destroying America’s morality… House of Cosbys is without-a-doubt the inspiration for MTV’s Jackass, NBC’s Fear Factor and the perpetually disgusting Oprah Winfrey).
And now, for something completely different (yet totally related)… my short list of people who take themselves waaaaaay too seriously:
Bill Cosby
Bono
Tom Cruise
I’ve been jealous of my coworkers in Redmond for a while because the Seattle-area has a very cool system for monitoring traffic status. It now seems that the bay area may finally be catching up.
Traffic.com now appears to have real-time traffic reporting for the south bay (read: Silicon Valley). I honestly don’t know when they started reporting in real time as last time I looked for real-time traffic in the south bay was a year or so ago. Traffic.com offers traffic for a number of metro areas like New York, LA and San Francisco. If your city is not explicitly listed, don’t despair, look for the closest metro area. For example, San Jose is grouped in with San Francisco.
Where’s the beef? Traffic.com gets some of its funding from ads but it is also a marketing tool for Mobility Technologies to help drive adoption of its telematics technologies (you can sign up for news from them on their products when you register for your free access). Mobility’s travel data program gets federal funding (at $2M for specific metro areas) but they do end up sharing their profits with the government. Mobility focuses on 3 markets: reselling data to broadcasters, selling real-time equipment to large agencies and finally telematics equipment to consumers.
Mobility‘s Traffic Pulse Networks® are automated systems for radio and tv broadcasters. The material on their site reads like the brochures you might find on the desk of a tv or radio sales manager. In short, buy our service and you’ll make money hand-over-fist.
The solutions Mobility sells to businesses and government (and potentially consumers with deep pockets) are focused on delivering the same type of information you get from the web page but in a customizable form. I could see UPS buying into this type of service to get a leg up on FedEx.
The really cool bit for me is Mobility‘s telematics. This is where we should have been ages ago, having real time traffic in our cars that link into the GPS navigation to intelligently route us around bad spots. It’s not explicitly stated on their site but the 2005 Acura RL has technology from Mobility which links GPS with XM-transmitted traffic data. Dare I say it? That’s so boss. Now, if I could only get the service in something a little more sporty.
Sources: Mobility’s web site, Traffic.com and the clever people who keep posting confidential Mobility business presentations in locations where Google can index them.
I was at a special Microsoft campus recently and had the distinct privilege of being allowed into the top secret research wing. The most interesting work being done at this facility is Microsoft Research’s ultra-secret experimentation with worm holes.
If anyone asks, you didn’t hear it from me.
The building name has been blurred out, of course, for security reasons (click for larger version).
Headline from the Onion:
A quote:
“I feel so bad for you, needing to squeeze into 250 MB of storage space,”
I love it! 
Read the full story.
Hey computer industry writers… you want to get geeks interested in your tech article? Incorporate espionage into your gadget review. Throwing in a reference to 007 or some other, handsome, non-geek-like, gadget-swinging spy is like rubbing bacon grease on dog treats, it’s really not necessary… but it really gets the dog excited and is a whole lot of fun to watch (there’s nothing more entertaining than nerd drool).
The latest thing that caught my eye was in an eWEEK Labs write up by Cameron Sturdevant of a new Mobile Edge bag:
Bluetooth Bunker Protects Devices
Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket.
Gasp! Spy novels?!? Tell me more.
Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket—made of radio-blocking material that forms a physical firewall between mobile devices and hackers or virus-infected Bluetooth devices—big enough to accommodate a PDA and a small cell phone handset.
My testing at eWEEK Labs proved that no radio signals penetrated the pocket, thus protecting my Bluetooth-enabled devices from possible viral infection just by being in close proximity to a compromised wireless device.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “My cell phone is small and portable… if I’m going out for the evening I don’t want to carry a briefcase just to protect my valuable cell phone. There’s no way I’m going to show up on the red carpet at the Oscars carrying a huge bag!”
No worries. Aditya and I are starting a new business based around our new, hacker-proof shield for your cell phone. Our “Bluetooth bullet-proof vest” is small enough to fit in your pocket yet packed with enough radio-wave-blocking technology to keep out even the most advanced hackers. Your new cell phone will be snuggled in, safely protected from all radio signals, ensuring your phone will never get a virus from another infected device. As an added bonus our new product will also protect you from all the cancer-causing radio waves emitted by your cell phone. Even if you don’t have a Bluetooth-enabled cell phone the health benefits of the “vest” are worth the investment. Imagine the feeling of security that will wash over you, knowing that both you and your device are now totally protected from harmful cell phone RF.
Want to be one of the next generation of tech gazillionaires? Get in on the ground floor with our new company! Angel investors may submit proof of fiscal liquidity directly (no checks or credit cards please, just send cash in small, unmarked bills).
But, in a pinch, Frito’s seem to work just fine. I recommend you pop the chocolate icing in the microwave for a few seconds… helps prevent chip breakage.
Mmm… chocolate Frito’s… just like mom used to make.
I never fail to find funny stuff on Steve Davis’s web site… this one kept me up well past my bed time.
Let’s say you’re an evil genius (perhaps, only 36% evil as of the time of this post) and you want to make a big splash by destroying something. You could aim small, like a cruise ship (see: Speed 2), or perhaps a small island in the Florida keys (see: True Lies) or even bigger, like the west coast of California (see: Superman).
If you are, however, truly truely evil and you want to make a really really evil name for yourself, destoying life on earth, even all life on earth, will not be quite enough. You’ll need to set your sights much higher (think Darth Vader high): destroy the earth itself. Sam has created a page examining some of the potential methods for destroying the earth and evaluated them for feasibility. His page will prove invaluable if you are hatching your next big evil plan.
If, on the other hand, you aren’t evil but have a yen for science fiction and enjoy Douglas Adams-esque humor, you’ll find the site a fun read.
A couple of e-mails slowed my progress on work this am…
A random vacation from reality sent by Ellie:
1) Go to http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373
2) Go to “watch this movie”, click on “without subtitles”
3) Enjoy the Romanian beats
A fascinating bit of science fiction sent around by Aditya:
