Categories
Idle Life

Comfort made easy

If I am sick or tired… or sick and tired… tired or just plain sick… I need comforting. Being a mama’s boy my first instinct is to run home, but seeing as my mommy is in Colorado and I’m in California I need to have a substitute.


Enter psychology… specifically: behaviorism.


Just like Pavlov’s dog, we have been trained to react. We can’t help it. From conception to death our conditioning never stops. We’ll flinch, cry and yawn on cue (don’t bother stifling the yawn, it’s not like I can see you). Yanking someone’s strings can be easy if you know their triggers. One very useful trick is to learn to yank your own strings (trust me, you won’t go blind).


If you’re feeling down and want a quick pick me up, try this out: think back to when you were a little kid… say 4 or 5 years old. Getting the vision? Good, not stop touching me or I’m telling Mom. Perfect, you got it. Now, on Saturday, what did you eat? If you have a bad memory try calling your mom, she may be able to help out. The key is to nail down exactly what you used to eat, getting the ingredients as close as possible to the authentic stuff. Go shopping, come home, put on some comfy clothes and eat. If you can find some reruns to go with your snack you’ll be golden. Trust me, it works great. If you put me in front of an episode of the Waltons, feed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (made with Wonder bread, Welch’s Concord grape jelly and creamy Jiff) cut in to quarters… diagonally, Fritos, a bowl of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and a glass of milk I’ll be right as rain.


Now if I could just find myself a good pair of footy pajamas…

Categories
Life

That’s it! I’m writing off the retail industry!

Perhaps my shoes are too tight but this kind of thing really irks me:  Harrods, British department store extraordinaire, has started its Christmas shopping season.  GAH!  It still annoys me when I see Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving (but I’m wacky that way).  Bring out Christmas decorations before Halloween and I fume.  But seriously folks… Christmas shopping before Labor Day?!?!?!?



“And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!”

Categories
Life

Redundant

Last night I came to a realization…


… I’m impressed by impressions.

Categories
Life Weird

I never knew I had cockles…

… I thought that warm feeling was heart burn. 🙂


My lovely wife has started a blog… it does me proud.

Categories
Life

Road trip!

When we found out we needed to be out of our house for a few days to have our house tented for termites we decided to make the most of it, we planned a road trip to southern California.  In the process we realized it’s the first trip of any length we’ve taken alone for almost three years.  Time for some quality time.

 

Can anyone tell me where this is… specifically?

Categories
Dogs Life

Worry is subsiding

Nala is very thankful for all the well wishes (Nala can’t read so I simply give her a dog biscuit every time someone posts a get well wish, she seems thankful).


I took Nala to the Vet again Tuesday morning (our normal vet, not the emergency vet) and the doctor gave me a little more information.


Her condition isn’t uncommon, especially in older dogs.  We should expect her to recover almost entirely.  Nala has essentially lost the user of her inner ear for balance (temporarily or permanently wasn’t clear).  Animals (dogs and humans alike) use multiple inputs to establish balance: inner ear, visual queues and muscle position.  Take away one of the inputs and things will be wonky at first, but the animal will learn to cope.


It will be a few days before she’s able to get around well on her own (she’s already managing pretty well, but does tend to go bump in the night).  The doctor said to expect her to be unsteady for a few weeks or longer… especially since Nala is shy one leg.  Many dogs never get back to 100 percent and will have some minor symptoms.  The most common vestigial symptoms being a tendency to fall down when shaking dry and perpetual head tilt (which is actually kind of cute).


For now we’re continuing to baby her, more for our own sake than hers.

Categories
Dogs Life

… and how was your weekend?

We had a bit of a scary weekend.  We went out for a hike on Sunday and came home to find our dog Nala hiding in a corner and a lot of vomit on the kitchen floor.  She came slinking out of the corner when we came in. 


Initially we interpreted her posture as shame for having gotten sick in the house (though she’s never been punished for doing so) but we quickly realized she was staying low to the ground because she was having a lot of difficulty standing.
We watched her for a little bit, then, like any good, overprotective parent, we went straight to the emergency room.  At this point we weren’t sure what had happened… how sick is she?  Did she have a stroke?  We were both terrified we’d have to put her down on the spot.


The doctor told us Nala most likely had “old dog vestibulitis”, not uncommon, but also not very well understood.  There could be a number of different causes for Nala’s vertigo and some blood tests would hopefully rule out some of them.  To be sure she was getting enough fluids and to allow her to be watched Nala spent the night in emergency veterinary clinic Sunday night.


Monday morning the doctor called us to let us know she could come home to recover.  She’s still not able to walk on her own and has difficulty standing to eat.  The doctor said she could be better in a few days, but it could be longer.
I’m not sure how much variation there is, but Nala’s symptoms are a rapid, side-to-side twitching of the eyes (horizontal nystagmus), a pronounced head tilt (perhaps trying to compensate for the spinning room) and a pronounced lack of coordination.  There are no warning signs and, from what I understand, there is nothing that can be done to prevent it (note: vestibulitis in general can be caused by ear infections as well, but for the “old dog” variety there doesn’t appear to be any cause).


My personal tip: get a dog harness, the kind that goes around the dog’s chest, and use that as a handle.  Nala now has a lot of trouble walking (especially because she only has 3 legs) and being able to grab the harness allows me to keep her upright but still allow her to walk roughly where she wants to go.  I’ve been using the harness to support her walking, eating and while she goes to the bathroom.


We’re off to our regular vet shortly… perhaps she’ll have more information for us.


Update: I found a note from the doctor with the technical diagnosis and am adding it so I don’t forget: Idiopathic Peripheral Vestibular Disease.





Some resources:


Categories
Life

Everyone thinks you’re crazy…

… except, of course, your mother (she thinks you’re perfect).


So then, you may ask, what’s the secret to finding your perfect mate?  You’ll never find anyone who doesn’t think you’re neurotic, crazy, slovenly, annoying or weird.  The key is finding the person who just doesn’t seem to care.  When you find that person, pursue them until you’re given a marriage proposal or a restraining order.

Categories
Life Weird

Here’s something a little more upbeat

Because every little kid loves building a fort out of couch cushions and sheets (I know, not “every” kid, but bear with me) there is a great market for grown ups who want a fort too.  Enter 20th Century Castles, a real easte company specializing in decommissioned missile bases.


How cool would it be to have a house with thousands of square feet of underground space?  You thought the basement was cool when you were a kid?  You need a house that’s almost all basement.


Not to mention, this will be a great place to live when the whole world goes to hell because we’re doomed as a race and…


Oops, there I go again.

Categories
Idle Life

Are you dead? Are you sure?

Bear with me, this started as an idle curiosity and then spiraled out of control…


I’m already convinced that, as a race, we’re doomed.  You’d think I’d just stick my head in a hole and start ignoring the idiocy of my fellow man, blissfully unaware, secure in my happiness knowing I can’t do a thing to change it.


I am, however, still fascinated by the things people do to each other.  Browsing Old New Thing I came across something quite new to me: people in India are declaring their relatives dead in order to claim property or insurance.  This may seem like a humane alternative to hiring a hit man but being dead makes life a little difficult, esp. when dealing with the government.


Is there an answer?  I’m not sure, but it gets me thinking.  Let’s start with the bad stuff, people killing each other.  Why?  Can it be narrowed down to a simple matter of having what you need?  Animals will instinctively fight when backed into a corner: fight or flee.  If threatened with death, the stakes are high.  Kill or be killed.


Okay, so fight or flight makes sense when the situation is immediate (a person is being attacked) but it’s not so immediate in the case of the article above.  Or is it?  In a country where some people are attempting to farm a plot of land as small as many houses in America, not having enough land could literally kill you.  It could be rationalized as instinctual to kill for land.


So, what about the rest of the killing going on?  Can that be boiled down to the same need?  I don’t think so, but it makes me wonder if it has roots in the same place. 


Religion is, for many people, a very real need.  The church, synagogue, mosque, temple, etc provides people with hope, guidance and community.  For a religion to survive there has to be a strong belief in what is being taught.  There seem to be two main things which will threaten a religion: oppression and reason.  Oppression needs little explanation, someone stronger than you (your government, another religion, etc.) comes in and tells you to stop believing what you believe.  The other, reason, needs a little more explanation: reason shouldn’t be construed as correct reasoning, just being enough arguments to make a believer start to doubt.  Reason is what breeds religious zealots, they have so little faith in their beliefs they fear their followers will abandon in droves when presented with any rational alternative.  Why destroy ancient Buddhist relics?  Because people might find Buddhism more rational.  If your beliefs are forcefully taken away this removes your emotional support structure.  Aggression results.  If people are leaving your ministry this takes money out of your pocket as well as calls to question your emotional support structure.  Aggression results.


Some people kill their spouse, this isn’t religion, right?  No, it’s one of two things jealousy or imprisonment.  Jealousy results from having something that you are positive cannot be replaced.  Being jealous of attention paid to your spouse is a self-confidence issue, you are convinced if your spouse leaves you that you cannot replace the emotional attachment.  A significant emotional attachment will cause significant pain if broken.  Pain drives the same fight or flight response.  Aggression results.  Being trapped in a relationship with no way out similarly causes pain.  Aggression results.


What about killing for money?  Muggers, mafia, etc.  One of the things that makes the free market system work is competition, people want to have more than their neighbor.  The Soviet Union seemed to illustrate that aiming for absolute equality will do more to beat people down than solve man’s built-in aggressive streak (this isn’t universally true, of course, otherwise there wouldn’t be communes).  Being wealthier and more powerful than the next person is a matter of self image.  The greater the stakes, the higher the risk, the more aggressive the response.


Sure, rational people don’t resort to killing.  I’m sure you would never kill anyone.  You’re rational, right? 


How do you know?